Man versus Mountain: Gertrude Saddle, Milford Sound, and the Chasm

May 20-May 22

Well, I've yet to write about my awesome mid semester break trip, because I need to have Hannah fill me in on the details from her journal, but I will jump ahead to discuss my weekend. My weekend was awesome, epic, fantastic, and then it ended with a stab in the heart. It all started on Friday around 6PM when Jack, Hannah, and I took off in Smith to Milford Sound, a 6-hour drive that I did in absolute darkness, since it gets dark around 5:30 here now. Luckily we had the 6th Harry Potter book on Hannah's ipod, so we listened to that along the way. After what seemed like forever, we made it to Homer Hut, a hut right before the actual Sound, and also the location for the start of the Gertrude Saddle Track, which we planned to do on Saturday. We woke up at the crack of dawn on Saturday to watch the sun rise over the mountains, which were HUGE. HUUUUGE. They were the most amazing mountains I've seen in my life. And they were covered in waterfalls, and there was snow halfway up them.

Jack and I with the HUGE mountains

So, I packed up my backpack with water, a banana, chocolate (that was gone fast), a rain jacket, gloves, carrots, and hummus (that spilled everywhere), and we took off to do the Gertrude Saddle Track. To my surprise (and horror), the sign for the Gertrude Saddle Track said the following:

Track Sign

Fit? Sorta.

Experienced tramper? Not really.

Alpine and navigation skills? No.

A sign after that said that one should not proceed without a topographic map and without crampons and other snow gear when the mountain is snow-covered (like it was).

Topographic map? Yeah right.

Crampons/snow gear? Not happening.

So naturally, we continued on. Needless to say, we were lost in 20 minutes. We took a wrong turn up a pile of rocks (and this was when there still were trail markers). Then a couple of parrots flew towards us and we got distracted by them. After about 30 minutes of messing around with the parrots (Jack unethically fed them so we could get cool pictures), we decided we should figure out how to get back to the track.

Parrot, after ingestion of trail mix

We decided we needed to bushwhack through the forest to get where we were supposed to be, rather than waste 15 minutes backtracking. So we climbed through bushes, trees, and rocks, got a little scratched up, and after our hour-long detour, we were back on track. The track was not really a track. I will quote the New Zealand Government's website to describe what we were up against.

"There are no markers above bushline, so alpine navigational skills are essential. Unfortunately trampers create misplaced rock cairns – be sure to follow your own judgement and use a topographical map."

Well, the bushline ended fast, so we busted out our alpine navigation skills and topographic maps and forged ahead. I will, once again, quote the New Zealand Government website to describe what we faced next.

"From here parts of the track are very steep and not suitable for anyone with limited tramping experience, or a dislike for heights. The track goes up very steep rock slabs and is treacherous when wet or frosty. There are steel cables to assist you."

Wet? Yes.

Frosty? Knee-deep snow.

Treacherous? Must be. 

Jack using the steel cable next to the waterfall

Well, we crossed a river, rock-climbed up a waterfall (with the use of a steel cable) and traversed across the snowy terrain. Now, it was impossible to know where we were stepping, since the snow was so deep. Beneath the snow were rocks, and our feet would slip around on these rocks and even get wedged between them, which was a little alarming. Luckily Jack went first, so Hannah and I basically just followed in his footsteps. Still, each step took tons of concentration. What was also a little alarming was, when we looked back at our footprints, we could see water flowing. In other words, there was basically a shallow river flowing beneath all the snow. My feet quickly became soaked in ice water, since my hiking boots aren't waterproof. Even more alarming were the couple of giant rocks we saw, and heard, break off the right side of the mountain and come tumbling down ahead of us. In fact, the New Zealand Government states, "[t]his is an alpine route and is subject to avalanches after snow. Please check with the Fiordland National Park Visitor Centre for track conditions before starting, whatever the season." Hmm, I wonder what the track conditions were last Saturday...



Part way up the mountain

The view from part way up the mountain

The snow got deeper, the mountain, steeper, the sky, cloudier, my feet more and more numb. Eventually we reached Black Lake. This was a picture-perfect, partially-frozen lake, 90% up the mountain. It was soooo cute! Unfortunately I couldn't gawk at it for too long because I had to rip off my shoes, squeeze out my soaked socks, and wrap my pale, numb, on-the-verge-of-frostbitten feet up in my sweatshirt, before they were gone for good.

Black Lake

Right behind Black Lake

Although we had come so far--from the squawking parrots, to the falling rocks, to the climb up the waterfall--and although we were soooo close to the top, where the spectacular views of Milford Sound resided, we simply could not continue. The last 10% of the trail was so steep that the steel cables were needed for its entirety. It just was not going to happen. We had to turn around and go back down. The tramp down was not much of a tramp. It was more of a slip and fall and butt slide down the mountain, causing me to wind up with sore wrists and even wetter socks. Alas, we finally made it back to Homer Hut, cooked up some instant soup, played Rummikub and Hearts (yes, with just 3 people, it's possible!). We called it a very early night, because we were going to wake up at 5AM the next day, sneak out without paying, drive down to Te Anau, fill Smith up with gas, then drive back and see Milford Sound.

And that's exactly what we did. Unfortunately, on the drive back to Milford Sound, a rabbit leaped out in front of the car and Smith killed it, leaving bloody roadkill sprawled across the asphalt. Why hasn't natural selection created animals that look both ways before crossing? Anyways, Milford Sound was spectacular. It was where giant mountains, which surrounded us 360 degrees, reached the ocean. But it looked more like a lake than an ocean. And apparently so much water flows off the mountains that the top 4 feet of Milford Sounds water is freshwater, instead of salt water. We opted not to do a cruise of the sound, to save money. Here are some pictures.

Milford and me

Milford and my back

After Milford, we started the long journey home. We stopped off to do a walk to the Chasm, which is a 15-minute

walk to a big plunging waterfall beneath a bridge. It was pretty sweet, even though it was raining. Unfortunately, our cameras couldn't quite capture the power and intensity of the chasm, but since we were in the Fiordland, there was lots of rainforest trees and it looked like a magical fairyland, and I got some good pictures of that. At the start of the walk to the Chasm, there were signs saying that people shouldn't feed the kea, since feeding them makes them too comfortable around humans and human objects. This has led to keas ripping apart peoples cars and destroying peoples' property. Good job Jack. Here are some pictures.

Too late

Typical Scenery in the Fiordland

Our original plan was to stop at a bunch of places in the Fiordland on the way back, but it was raining, so the Chasm became the only stop. We also didn't really feel like stopping, since we were listening to Harry Potter. Eventually, we made it back to good ol' Dunedin. Everything was fine and dandy (the kitchen was a little dirty, but what else is new?). I was in a delightful daze from all the beautiful things I'd seen, the crazy hike we did, and from Harry Potter. I went up to my filthy room (but nothing could bother me at that time), turned on my computer, checked my email, checked blackboard to see if any new grades were up (of course not...lazy teachers), checked Thinkorswim (made a little bit of money...thanks MGM), and then checked facebook, and that's when I was stabbed in the heart. "WHAT THE FUCK!!!" thought I. Here's a screenshot of what I saw: 

WTF

Yep. In a relationship with some bitch. My first reaction: denial. I honestly read "in a relationship with Emily Dennis" at least 3 times, before I actually believed it. Second reaction: anger. Lots and lots of anger. I skipped bargaining, and then went to depression. Well, I facebooked stalked the girl. Her profile picture consisted of her and 2 other girls. My first impression was that none of them were very cute. The one in the middle was probably the cutest. I looked at more of her pictures and then I figured it out--she was the one on the left with the large boobs and forehead. Her facebook was very privatized, so being the nutcase that I am, I looked her up on the UCLA website and found out that she is a PhD student at UCLA, graduated from Whitman college in 2008 and was a Kappa there (just like Hannah! Small world, eh?), graduated cum laude, double majoring in psychology and chemistry (not impressed), did a research internship at Stanford, and currently does research at UCLA on anxiety disorders and learning disabilities. She enjoys hiking, cooking, massage, and some other things that I can't remember. In other words, she and Jeff are pretty much a match made in heaven. FML. They'll probably still be together when I get back. FML. I want to work at HSS when I return. That'll be awkward. Maybe I won't. FML. Why am I so irrational!!!!!???? We were only together for two weeks!!! Why did the thought never cross my mind that he would get a girlfriend? What's wrong with me!?!?!?!?!?!?!?